So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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