tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
