I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
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What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
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You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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