Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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