I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
