i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
