remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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