Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
