wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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