I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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