Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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