I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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