i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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