I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize