What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
