Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize