dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I don't deserve a penis
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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