YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
