my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
