she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
