hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
