i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
