If i could tip my vagina, i would.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
