So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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