Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize