i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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