so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
