Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
