Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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