just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
