We're facebook friends in real life
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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