if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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