bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
All the doctor said was why
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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