Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
