And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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