SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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