i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
