you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
