You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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