theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
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I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
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Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Enjoy the penises
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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