Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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