Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
