My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
