I saw his package. It spoke to me.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
