woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
