I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
