I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You are a genius and a whore.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
