I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
