you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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