Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
