carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
