What did we do last night that was yellow?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
