i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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