Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
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