screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
