we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Randomize
