I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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