Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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