remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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