I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
